She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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