Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
