OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
