My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
