do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You need a sexual gate keeper
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
