I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
