Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
