Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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