that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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