i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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