i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
