He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
