maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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