we have pet lesbian snakes
I think my vagina is haunted
i will never coherently bang her
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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