Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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