Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
