We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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