New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
