if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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