I wish I could teleport
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
