My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize