your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
