I hate your face
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
