Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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