We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
