This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
