You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
