She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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