just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
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My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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