...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think my vagina is haunted
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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