he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
