Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
