what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
