lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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