Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize