I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
