Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
