is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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