I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
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you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
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You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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