May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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