soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
They took my balls.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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