I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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