im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
