That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
