So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
