I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
