My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
