i jhust puked up my retainher.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
