don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
