You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
