quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
