You really coming over, don't trick.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
