I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
