if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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