Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
