Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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