The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
