Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize