ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
