i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
