Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
