before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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